I’m at Walt Disney World in Orlando and I’m underwhelmed. Where shall I start?

• I’m here for a conference. It sucks to be alone in a place made for families.
• I screwed up my hotel reservation and flight info. I flew in the day before my reservation. The “cast member” at the airport was cool and got me into my room early.
• “Cast members.” Come on.
• The hotel shuttle isn’t called a shuttle. It’s called The Disney Magical Express. Not “magical express” or “express.” The Disney Magical Express. The “cast member” who directed me to The Disney Magical Express said the whole phrase several times: Me: “Is this the hotel shuttle?” Him: “Well, this is The Disney Magical Express.” Me: “Does it shuttle me to my hotel?” Him: “Well, yes, The Disney Magical Express will take you to your hotel if you have a reservation.” Me: “Thanks.” Him: “Enjoy The Disney Magical Express!”
• They’re totally serious when they say it’ll take 3 hours to get your luggage to your room. Exactly 3 hours.
• Two messages on the hotel phone. One intelligible, the other not so much. I thought it was the front desk telling me to come get my luggage. I went to the front desk where I had another barely intelligible conversation with a very nice lady who could tell me that they didn’t have my luggage. And why do I ask, am I missing some? I tell her, I don’t know if I’m missing some. If you don’t have my luggage, then it’s quite possible that I am missing some luggage. We go around a little bit until she finally calls and listens to my voicemail and tells me that it’s a message about turning off the power at three am. That was the intelligible message. She never listened to the second one, which when I listened to it again, sounded kinda like it was for the previous occupants of my room. Who had kids. They left some drawings here. Anyway, the luggage showed up in my room about 45 minutes later. Whew, I’m not missing any luggage.
• Not much food today: Black Tiger Mocha from Coffee People in the Portland Airport at 5am. Also a donut that I didn’t finish. Three bottles of water. Two chocolate chip cookies in Houston. Another bottle of water, a beer and a can of Pringles in my hotel room when I wasn’t patient enough to wait in a massive food line full of screaming kids. No room service available here. I’m planning on going running in the morning if I have any energy left by then. Early breakfast, though. Oh yes.
• A curtain serves as my bathroom door. Charming.
• Tomorrow I will sit in the sun with my iPod and grade papers until it’s time to go meet/greet other conference attendees in the evening.