{"id":225,"date":"2004-07-06T06:43:03","date_gmt":"2004-07-06T13:43:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bren.pintglass.org\/archives\/2004\/07\/06\/i-dont-want-a-penis\/"},"modified":"2004-07-06T06:43:03","modified_gmt":"2004-07-06T13:43:03","slug":"i-dont-want-a-penis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/i-dont-want-a-penis\/","title":{"rendered":"I don&#8217;t want a penis!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Tru was going pee sometime during the weekend and I was helping him.  He was pinching the noodle a little too tight and squeezing off the flow.  I advised him to ease up a bit, which he did and everything was fine.  When he was done, he kinda sighed heavily and huffed &#8220;I don&#8217;t want a penis!&#8221;  <em>(can&#8217;t wait to see what kind of search term referals this post brings!)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tru was going pee sometime during the weekend and I was helping him. He was pinching the noodle a little too tight and squeezing off the flow. I advised him to ease up a bit, which he did and everything was fine. When he was done, he kinda sighed heavily and huffed &#8220;I don&#8217;t want [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tru","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8ckgU-3D","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=225"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/225\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brendonconnelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}