So, yesterday was my v-day. I was at work until 3pm, then Amy drove me up to the hospital. We had to drive to a hospital in another town because, apparently, the hospital in Newberg doesn’t allow such procedures to occur within their facilities, on account of their Catholic affiliation. So we had a bit of a drive to make. I was fine with driving myself, but Amy insisted, since we heard a story of a friend who had the same procedure. It seems he drove himself, but the anasthetic wore off too quickly and he actually had to pull over and compose himself before continuing home. My physician took care to prescribe appropriate preventative and palliative remedies–namely, beer. No joke, my doctor prescribed one beer prior to the surgery and then beer and ibuprofen as needed for the next couple of days. I like the idea of medicinal beer.

Anyway, the procedure was fairly benign. I went into the operation with visions of the end of Braveheart, when William Wallace is disemboweled. You only see the top half of him, grimacing in pain while, presumably, the bottom half of him is removed, bit by bit, culminating in an understandable cry of “FREEDOM!” The doc “numbed” the target area with some rub-on stuff, which didn’t work. Let me just state for the record that the relationship between hyperdermic needles and scrotums is not friendly. No worries, though, when the needle-stuff started working. The doc was cuttin’ and tuggin’ away and I didn’t feel a thing. The whole procedure, including both sides, only took about 20 minutes. When everything was tied up, the doc stuffed my pants full of gauze and sent me home to lay down for a couple of days. No jumping jacks for me this weekend.

So now I’m resigned to sitting and laying around the house for the next couple of days. The big idea is to stay “well supported” and reduce any hangtime. No boxer shorts, either. I actually had to buy new underwear just for this weekend. I’m feeling generally okay right now…but that could change quickly if Truman decides to come jump on me when I’m not expecting it…